Sex is an exciting activity that can be a powerful force in people’s life, bringing satisfaction and happiness to the faces of humans; man, woman and others. The pleasure derived from sex is a major reason why it is an activity that both the young and old want to dabble in, once in a while or even every time, depending on their sex drive.
Overtime, sex can become bland, unsavory, lacking in flavor, unexciting and uninteresting. But you would not want to quite sex because of this, because in spite of these things, sex is unavoidable, especially if you are someone with high libido. In order to keep enjoying your sexual activities, you seek for more, and I am going to share with you, how you can get more from your sex.
Even, when sex is not becoming uninteresting, people have different preferences when it comes to sex, what you would like to do, what you would enjoy being done to you during sex, these preferences are some of the things that make you unique, but do not dismay, you are not alone in your preferences.
There are some sexual preferences that go beyond the regular sexual activities and this is called ‘Kink’ and sexual activities that fall under this term are referred to as being ‘kinky'. Kink is a subcategory under sex that include activities such as fetish play, role playing, BDSM and many other non-vanilla sexual activities. If you have always wanted more in bed, or you have some unique preferences that you would like to try out in bed, I am going to be sharing some ideas that are perfect for beginners into the world of kinky sex.
Before we go on, I would like to explain some terms in the kinky side of the pleasure world, so that you would be able to understand better, which side you would like to explore or experiment.
- Fetish play: this is attraction to object or body parts that might not be considered sexual by a lot of people, you might discover, for instance, that you like to play with your partner’s feet or other body parts, including clothing materials worn by them might be an extension of your affection for your partner, fetish comes in when you are actually aroused by this body part. Foot fetish is a common one that means that such person would really be attracted to their partner’s feet and be aroused by it.
Fetish can be attraction to a lot of other things, that might not be found to be attractive, but you find it arousing and enticing.
- Role playing: this involves you and your partner taking up roles during your sex, these roles could be based on fantasies that both of you have. For example, taking on the role of a sugar daddy and a sugar baby is quite common role play among couples. As an individual, you could also role-play on your own, act out your fantasy in front of the mirror, alone in the room, dress up in your kinky wear. Men can choose to put on their wives’ clothing materials such as the lingerie, and wives could also do the same.
Role playing can bring certain freedom of expression and adventure to the bedroom, each person can act out their fantasy in different ways they want.
- BDSM: this is power play. The dynamics of power are what BDSM is based on. The physical restraint and mind games using control. The dominant and submission involved in BDSM are the major dynamics in this kink. You can choose to act out your dominant side or get subject yourself to the control of another, such person, that is usually referred to as the Dominant has all the power and all the submissive has to control the situation is the safe word, that is to be spoken when you have had enough or for some reasons, you cannot continue.
- Exhibitionism and voyeurism: these two kinks are so close, they go together in a sentence. The difference between them is that, an exhibitionist likes to show their body and sexual activities to an audience, while a voyeur likes to watch the exhibited performance. You can see that one cannot exist without the other, if no one wants to showcase their sexual activities, then there would not be voyeurs that like to watch, because there is nothing to watch.
- Orgy or group sex: do not be surprised that orgy makes it to the list, orgy is a kink as well, and you would find several people that enjoy having sex with other people at the same time. It could be a threesome, foursome and more than these.
There are several other kinds of kink, as you get to know yourself, you can discover more and more about what you enjoy in bed.
Now, I am going to be sharing some kinky ideas for you as a beginner in the world of kinky sex.
How to prepare for exploring your kinks
- The first thing is to know is that you are not crazy for having your kink fantasy, the society might label certain kinks as being overboard and can only be the fruit of a deranged mind, but kinks are simply forms of expression of your sexual energy in ways that may be peculiar to you and your partner, the mainstream society may not understand, but studies have shown that people that engage in kinky sex are happier and live healthier lifestyle than those that have restricted themselves in spite of their body yearnings. As long as you are full consent and the other person is not under-aged or coerced, have your fun.
- As a woman you might feel it is embarrassing: kinky sex is for every one, regardless of your gender, you can enjoy whatever you wish to enjoy. Do not be embarrassed to find your own pleasure, find someone that is willing to explore with and have your fun.
- Consent and communication: before trying out any of your kinky fantasy on your partner, ensure that you have communicated what you desire with them, and they have given their consent, doing things without consent can lead to the other person being hurt because they are unprepared and also, they may not be in to what you desire, and springing up a surprise on them during sex may lead to a sour ending for both of you. Hence, consent and communication is very important.
- Kinky sex does not equal to fancy equipment: as a beginner into the world of kinky pleasure, you might have a lot of your information from porn videos, where you see elaborate set-ups. This can be discouraging to you, but know this that to have a kinky sex with your partner does not require most of these gadgets, especially for someone just starting out. Role playing might require costumes that you can get by combining the outfits you already have in your closet while BDSM tend to be the one that has more devices built for gagging, strapping, whipping and others. You need to take things slow and push the boundary little by little as you find out more and more about what you enjoy, so you do not need to think of setting up a torture chamber first, your bedroom will suffice for now.
- Kinky sex does not equal to fancy equipment: as a beginner into the world of kinky pleasure, you might have a lot of your information from porn videos, where you see elaborate set-ups. This can be discouraging to you, but know this that to have a kinky sex with your partner does not require most of these gadgets, especially for someone just starting out. Role playing might require costumes that you can get by combining the outfits you already have in your closet while BDSM tend to be the one that has more devices built for gagging, strapping, whipping and others. You need to take things slow and push the boundary little by little as you find out more and more about what you enjoy, so you do not need to think of setting up a torture chamber first, your bedroom will suffice for now.
- Safe words: it is important that you do not get carried away during sex and did not plan a safe word before starting. Safe words are important in most kinky sex, especially when you are making use of restraints, you and your partner need to be equipped with the word that will communicate what you want at that present moment, when you have reached your limit, and you would like to end the affair, same goes for your partner. There could be several reasons during sex, that you might need to use these words, such as discomfort, muscle strain, need to use the bathroom, desensitized feelings and also loss of interest. You can suddenly figure out in the heat of the moment, that this is not really what you enjoy, then your safe words are your saving grace. Easy-to-use words are red light which means stop, green light which means to keep on going and also amber which means wait or get ready. If you still don't feel at ease, you can establish a contract to restrain the behavior of both parties, which is more secure.
- Pain can be pleasurable, but there is a threshold: kink like BDSM focus on using pain to give pleasure, spanking, slapping and many more. But, there is a threshold where pain stops being pleasurable, and it can easily slip into a great discomfort and even too much pressure on a body part might lead to injury. Therefore, care should be taken to prevent causing damages to the nerves, sex organs and the general body. This can put a strain on a relationship, if you are responsible for an injury on your partner, and even if it was a stranger that you met on an app, discuss your pain thresholds, so that your encounter will be as safe as possible.
- Be free to choose your own kink: there is no rigid classification of kinks, you and your partner might enjoy more than one kink, do not be restrained by these classifications available, your kink is what you want it to be. You can decide to adapt different things from other classifications and designed a whole new kink for you. It is only important that whatever you decide, you are in full communication with whomever it is that you are going to experiment or explore your kink with. Every exploration or experimentation should have communication, patience, trust and non-judgment in it.
Health benefits of engaging in kinky sex
- Your mental health is improved: studies have shown that people that engage in kinky sex have found more expression to their desires, and this makes them more outspoken and expressive in their every day life.
- Healthy release of hormones: during sex and orgasm, there are some feel-good hormones that the brain releases and that is why sex is found pleasurable. During kinky sex, you are tapping into your desires and this triggers more hormones to be released into your body, and you feel good and orgasm is better.
- Studies have also shown that engaging in kinky sex can be instrumental in reducing your stress, Cortisol which is a major stress hormone is observed to be reduced in people that engage in kinky sex. Their chances of developing health issues like high blood pressure and high blood sugar are reduced.
Some ideas on how to get started in kinky fantasy
- Toys: there are several sex toys that you can get that will not cost an arm and a tooth. Vibrators, dildos, cock rings, nipple clamps. These toys are quite easy to get, with a few dollars, you can get them and explore with them
- Spanking: spanking your partner or asking them to spank you is another inexpensive kink that you might enjoy, a lot of submissive partners enjoy to get spanked and find the pain to be quite pleasurable. You can try spanking your partner to get their reaction to know how they respond to it, with their consent of course.
- Blindfold: covering your partner eyes or asking them to cover yours can be an intriguing and arousing act for both of you. The tension and vulnerability that this gives can be quite exciting, you would find out that both of you love the suspense and tension that blindfold brings into the bedroom.
- Tie up your partner: restraint is quite an exciting part of dominance and submission, a tied up partner can only take all their Dom is giving to them. They can not resist, and a lot of people that are into BDSM find this to be pleasurable, both the dominant and the submissive. It is a quite common kink in the world of kinky sex, especially for this interested in power play.
- Anal stimulation: anal sex and the stimulation of the anus can be quite exciting because of the several nerve-endings located in the anus, with the right equipment, which includes your lube, dildo or penis and condom, you can unlock this pleasure zone.
Conclusion
You do not have to feel embarrassed by any of your sexual desires and fantasies, as long as it is not harming anyone or coercing an underage person, you can always find someone that is willing to explore with you, your partner could also be that person, all it takes is a good communication between the two of you and each person sharing what they fantasize about, do not be surprised, if you both share one or two kink ideas that you would both like to try out. Kinky sex can be just what you need, to give your life the makeover that it needs.