Regardless of how common of a subject sex has become to talk about, some people still feel shy to express their feelings and what they want, when it comes to sex. It’s not always convenient to express what you genuinely want when it comes to sex. Even if you take the initial step, there are chances your partner might not feel the same way! And if they are naturally shy, it can feel almost impossible to get them open up sexually. So, how do you do it then?
There are multiple ways to enhance your sex life and get your partner open up sexually without coming off as too aggressive or bringing them out of their comfort zone. And yes, shy partners exist and it’s difficult to help them up open sexually but not impossible!
What is it like dating an introverted person?
If you feel like your partner is shy, you might notice that they don’t interact with many people regardless. Once you begin dating, you shall start noticing that your partner will eventually become comfortable with you, slowly and gradually. Shy partners are usually guarded and protective, they don’t open up that easily, even the ones they are dating or in a relationship with - well at least when it’s in the honeymoon phase.
This doesn’t mean that they dislike sex and do not want to pursue it. This just means that sex is something that they like but shy away from initiating first. Now as we already discussed it out, it is possible that it will take a little bit longer to get them comfortable with the idea of sex. Take some quick notes, while your partner could shy away, this does not indicate that they don’t want sex, some individuals are just shy and doesn’t want to take the first step is starting things up. In addition, they may not be as vocal about their sex life as others. They can be very shy about doing new and creative things in bed. That's where your job and efforts begin!
How to help a partner open up sexually?
Always be kind and generous in the bedroom
One of the top ways to move towards a satisfying and exciting sex life is without emphasizing on it! One of the best ways is to typically lead by example and encourage your partner to follow along. Every sexually satisfied partner is also a super generous and kind partner. If you take care of your partner, they will want to take care of you too (yes, in all aspects)!
The more you give when you are in bed, such as doing all the things that your partner loves - the more similar actions will be reciprocated right away. Do not push the conversation by stating that this is what you desire, chances are you might be turning them off immediately by being super vocal about your sex expressions. Try to do it the old school way - Identify the situation first you have with your partner, present the problem and then suggest the solution with your actions. This can be as small as starting with a basic topic, before easing and leading the conversation towards the topic of having sex, of course with generosity.
Always focus a little too much on flirting
Never underestimate the power of flirting and how long it can go, just be subtly suggestive and don’t emphasize it too much when it comes to getting what you want in bed. The sex mood doesn’t start when you both are in bed, it starts right after you part ways in the morning. Why don’t you start the foreplay and casual teasing texts when you leave for work in the morning? This way, the whole day you will be preparing your partner for the sex mood and at night, when you finally get to it, it won’t feel super-awkward and shy.
You can leave romantic notes to your partner or send sexy texts or emails throughout the day. It gets convenient when you are not face to face with the person, so let those texts set the mood and make your partner comfortable to the idea of sex eventually. Remember, don’t sound too intense or serious, as you don’t want to scare them away. Keep it casual and subtle - but sexy at the same time!
Always observe your partner’s behavior and their mood thoroughly
Always observe the behavior that your partner should want the same things as you, make sure that you are not emphasizing or deliberately imposing things on anyone. It’s not enough that you keep on talking about their mood only, instead you must also observe how they are reacting or behaving through the day. Listen to the tone they are talking in - check if they are more closed off than they were before. The signs will be pretty obvious to notice.
As long as you are listening to them, make them feel acknowledged, it will drive out their shyness and it will eventually show in their behavior at night. Think about their ideology as well instead of just focusing on your agenda.
Make them the lead of this story
Whether it’s about getting something that you wouldn’t get in bed or maybe not getting enough of it, it all comes down to how you are making your request. The reason plenty of partners are usually shy is because they feel awkward about asking what they want and they don’t want to hurt their partner’s feelings at all, always focus on the positive side and build that kind of momentum with your partner by focusing on what they want and you will see them opening up!
Focus on the things they are already doing for you, tell them how good they are at it such as X or Y and then encourage how good it would feel if they added a little bit of Z in it as well. Have a positive attitude towards it, do not let your partner feel inadequate or inappropriate at being vocal about what they want. Men and Women both like to be acknowledged when they do something that pleases you, of course they want to know if you feel good about it or not. If you tell them that what they do is great, they will try to do it more and probably add it up with something else as well.
Heard of the 90:10 rule? Well, do it!
The 90:10 rule is all about you being at 90 percent and your partner at 10 percent, especially initially! The rule is about following the concept that you will initiate the sexual move, meanwhile your partner follows the lead - it will eventually close the gap between the two of you and spice things up. You can try it with all the moves you have in mind and want to try them out with your partner. For example, rub your hands against their thigh as a 90% move and let them lean in further. Or move in for a kiss 90% of the way and let your partner close the gap and eventually make the move to kiss you. Slowly and gradually leads to a steady road, for real!
You can also try it when you are just about to lick or kiss their neck and right before you press into her, this will help your partner to feel super comfortable with you and actively participate in bed rather than only you taking the high road. Guide your partner’s moves but also allow them to feel comfortable, open up and eventually take charge of the situation - the sex!
Always be clear about your intentions
Ensure that you are super clear about your intentions, without jumping all into once! Don’t use dirty use or the opposite flowery words, because you definitely don’t want to scare her away. Present it as a suggestion that this is what you have been thinking about for a while. You have nothing to lose, you might not get the answer you are looking for immediately, but you can always try again.
A lot of partners find it hot when there partner withholds sex. You are not supposed to hold your horniness as hostage while you talk about it, however it can build some tension and anticipation while you are at it – by longing your partner. Sleeping with a shy partner has benefits of its own, especially in the starting phase. The mystery of the unknown will always add to the spice in your new sex life, so if you can discover each other’s secrets. But ensure, to be super clear about your intentions.
Get familiar with the idea of using sex toys
The methods we talked about are effective and accurate - however it depends from person to person, there might be a chance that it won’t work according to your partner’s personality. If none of it works, it means that there approach towards sex is pretty different but they are too shy to mention it at all! Here is a backup way you can surely utilize it with your partner!
A lot of people toys, props and other tools to boost up or spice up their existing sex life. You never know, but your partner might get handy with the toy first and then eventually with you! The idea of using sex toys can become quite arousing and sexy for some people - yes, even for the shy ones! Try mentioning it to your partner, or casually bring a toy to them and you will know whether they are open to the idea or not! If you are confused about which sex toys to select, we can make this a little easier for you, check out these products below.
Talking about pleasure and getting your partner to open up sexually, there is no better way to smooth things up than to use a classy vibrator. The WOW Tech’s all new Womanizer Duo Rabbit Vibrator is the newest and probably the best deal out there. It is one of the best and an amazing dual stimulator, the Womanizer Vibrator can easily make contact with the clit as well as with its Pleasure Air Technology while simultaneously vibrating the G-spot! Encourage your partner with the use of it and getting them aroused could become the first step to getting them opened up sexually. The vibrator offers 12 different modes of intensity levels as well as stimulations.
We-Vibe Sync Couples Vibrator Remote & App Controlled Vibrator
Well, obviously the fun shouldn’t be gender specific! There are plenty of toys designed for him and her and this all-new We-Vibe Vibrator is one great example of it! This stimulator, offering dual purpose hits both the clit and the g-spot! It is especially designed by keeping the shy couples in mind who are looking to spice things up but can’t get their head start. The stimulator comes with 10 different vibration modes and your partner can use the remote via Bluetooth or the application for long-distance playtime. It’s a wearable device and what other method can be used to spice things up in the morning than casually turning your partner on (for real!) by pressing the button and starting a vibration in them! It will kick away the shyness like no other.
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