The evolution of pleasure in our world today is nothing short of intriguing. From hetero-sexualism to homosexualism, the various forms of sexual pleasure keep developing over time. One unique part of the sexual spectrum is the BDSM, which entails various dynamics and a unique form of power play (sexual power play).
BDSM represents bondage/discipline, submission/dominance, and sadism/masochism. This encompasses a wide array of erotic and kink practices. BDSM deals fundamentally with consent. That is the consent of both parties to participate in the intense and intimate act of sex. It is as psychological as it is physical, so it is advised that the parties should engage in aftercare immediately following a session as a matter of importance.
As we stated earlier, BDSM deals with a wide array of erotic practices, from bondage and restraint to the practice of power/control and submission, to the act of deriving pleasure from pain and certain forms of humiliation. These various categories of BDSM can be adopted individually or collectively about the preference of the practicing couple.
Sex is much fun when you are with a partner you trust, and they are willing to explore with you. So, I decided to do some research myself and make some experimental discoveries with my partner. It has been fantastic; it was worthwhile, and I have decided to share my experience and guide to assist anyone who wants to experience the erotic part of sex life. It can be done anywhere within the house with your lover.
It may be scary for newbies, but I am here to guide you and act as a beneficial expert who has been able to experience it countless times and wants to explore better ways to derive more pleasure through it. This is why I have come up with a beginner-friendly guide to lead you and educate you on all that you need to know in embarking on this journey of exploring the world of pleasure.
It would be best to keep in mind certain basic things: having a trusted and willing partner to journey this path with you and the necessary tools to assist you in achieving a pleasurable experience. One of the most important tools is a “rope,” a BDSM vital tool. The whole essence of BDSM is to restrain the movement of your partner, which gives you dominance over their whole body and makes them beg for that sensual touch of yours, thereby increasing the pleasure you both derive from having sex.
ROPE AND BDSM ARE TWO INSEPARABLE LOVERS
You may ask, why rope? The rope is best suitable because it leaves fewer scars and causes less pain to the partner. BDSM is all about being able to constrain the movement of your partner, which puts you in charge of their whole being; the fun part is that it increases the pleasure for both of you because the human hormones respond to any form of threat that can be used sexually to enhance pleasure.
You may not have heard of the word “BDSM” that’s fine; it simply stands for Bondage, Dominance, Sadism, and Masochism. It is a Japanese technique developed to enhance sexual pleasure. Ropes were best suited in achieving this aim.
You need to know about other things aside from the rope, which concerns both the financial cost and your mental preparedness.
The first few things you should know about
- Having a Relaxed mind: There is usually this anxious feeling that overwhelms you whenever you are trying something for the first time. I can relate because I also felt it, whether this is the right way or not. However, there’s no need to bother your mind about that. Instead, try to relax; if you feel your heart is beating faster, take in deep breaths and relax your mind. A relaxed mind helps you harness and cherish every moment of BDSM with your partner.
- The Cost: The belief is that BDSM is very expensive. The truth is that it is true and false at the same time; the reason is that a properly established verified sex shop sells these things at a high cost but mind you, these items can easily be acquired in a good hardware store around your neighborhood, you can even order it online from similar stores by searching the internet with the right knowledge.
- The diameter: You must get the best rope size to achieve your desired result; it is advisable to get a minimum of a 5cm diameter rope size to avoid scars, skin burns, injuries, or blood circulation issues.
- The braiding: A proper braiding is not all that important, but it can be cost-effective in that you can untie the rope after use instead of cutting it. Braiding primarily determines how tight or loose a rope is, and you should braid it properly.
- The tooth: The tooth of a rope refers to a knotted end of a rope; it determines whether the rope is properly knotted to avoid it losing off.
- The Cutting: Having a scissor can help you cut your rope into smaller sizes with longer ropes and extra length to achieve your desired result.
- Maintenance: Proper maintenance is generally advised for every tool used in BDSM. You can wash your ropes after use and dry them for reuse and electronic gadgets like vibrators, keeping them safe is advisable.
Types Of BDSM Ropes
Choosing the best type of BDSM rope may be quite dicey, but being able to identify and differentiate between the different types of BDSM ropes would help you make the right choice. There are different BDSM ropes categorized mainly under two types: Natural and Synthetic ropes. They both have their merits and demerit, but you would have to choose based on your preference.
Natural Types of Ropes
Hemps: Hemps is commonly used for BDSM due to its natural root. It is made from fibers from the stalks of the cannabis Sativa plant. It is used for Shibari and comes in different colors while maintaining its natural looks. It is more robust, more absorbent, and more insulating than cotton. The fun part is that it can be reused after washing, but it can lose its durability after constant washing and use, whether it has been treated or not. Although it is quite expensive to purchase due to the high demand and limited availability, it is still one of the best choices to choose from.
Jute: On the other hand, Jute is quite different from Hemp, although they are both expensive and used traditionally in Shibari. It is quite more expensive to maintain than Hemp. The fun part is that it becomes more durable after every use. Jute is long, soft, and has a shiny fiber easily twisted into strong threads. It is produced from the flowering plant of the Mallow family ‘Malvaceae.’ Jute rope is also very popular to be used as a bondage rope. Jute is quite delicate, and as such, it should be tied gently because of the nature of the tooth. They are in a variety of colors.
Cotton: This type of rope is usually soft and easy to knot, but it can be difficult to untie. Cotton can be dyed in different colors, and even though it is soft on the skin, it is strong with wonderful teething that is not usually susceptible to rope burns. So, a couple that goes with cotton can be sure that they won’t get any allergies. However, I would advise beginners not to use cotton because it unties easily, especially when the knot becomes too tight. Another con of cotton is that it easily gets dirty and stretches over time.
Linen/Flax: This BDSM rope is flexible with moderate durability. Linen/Flax ropes usually have good strength with nice teething and are easy to tie. With this BDSM rope, there are usually fewer and sometimes no allergies. However, this BDSM rope is usually expensive to purchase and very difficult to wash.
Bamboo: Bamboo ropes are a somewhat flexible and soft type of BDSM rope. It is quite expensive but worth it when engaging in the best form of pleasure. It has a low elasticity with moderate friction on the body. It is a fine work of art; it is pretty durable and has less grip than silk and certain anti-bacterial properties.
Silk: This soft and flexible rope elicits certain forms of ecstatic pleasure from your body on mere impact because of its soft nature, probably even forcing an orgasm out of you before the main course begins. It has low stretch and moderate friction on the body. It is fairly durable with good teething and is similar to cotton rope. It is, however, a luxury choice of rope for BDSM.
Manila/Sisal/Coir: These forms of ropes for BDSM are very affordable, and while they might be appealing to a beginner couple just joining the BDSM community, they might need to check out the pros and cons first before deciding to go with this rope. It has a harsh tooth, which could be either beneficial or hurtful depending on the preference of the couple involved. It can sometimes be uncomfortable, difficult to clean, and has limited diameters. A couple thinking of engaging in suspension should not use any of these ropes as they are not good for suspension.
Synthetic Types of Ropes
Synthetic Hemp/Hempex: These ropes are cheap to purchase with a good tooth, and when it knots, it does not get too tight or compact. It is easier to keep clean, and it has no allergies. Also, a couple thinking of trying out suspension could use this rope. Although it sometimes doesn’t have enough diameters, beginners can still use it to explore their newfound sexuality in BDSM.
Nylon/Polyester/Paracord: These BDSM rope types are easy to find in the market and also affordable. They have a heavy-duty texture that makes them durable while maintaining their smooth and soft feel on the body. In addition, they are generally easy to clean and do not have allergies. They, however, have a bad tooth, can result in compact knots, are slippery at times, and are susceptible to rope burns. Overall, in going for any of these ropes, a couple would have to consider whether the pros far outweigh the con in their sexual play.
MFP Multifilament Polypropylene: This rope comes in many colors with a soft and smooth texture. It can generally be found in every hardware store and is fairly strong. It has low friction on the body and is free of allergies. It, however, possesses a poor tooth, is susceptible to rope burns, and is not suitable for a couple thinking of trying out suspension.
Rope tying, or as it is known in the BDSM community, “Bondage Knots,” are very complex and intricate, and one has to undergo some form of training to do it right; otherwise, they might inflict severe pain and on their partner. Luckily, many video tutorials on YouTube for beginners and even advanced learners can guide bondage knotting. So be sure to check them out.
My Favourite Rope
After trying out several bondage ropes, I’ve decided to stick with lovehoney bondage rope. It has an overall rating of 10. It is soft, non-slip and firm in design. It is great for both beginners and experts. It doesn’t irritate the skin and can be cut to size.
SOME EXTRA TOOLS THAT ARE QUITE HANDY
- Vibrator: Vibrator can be quite handy, especially when used on women; it triggers every sex hormone in their system when placed on their pussy. It is an electric device used in massage to enhance sexual pleasure. It causes vibration around the pussy, which stimulates sexual pleasure. It would be best if you got a rechargeable vibrator for easy usage. One of the most sought-after Vibrators is the Leten Lighting Wand Rechargeable Vibrator which is about $80. It has a soft silicone head with a delectable surface for efficient transmission of vibrations. You can control the speed at will, and it is easily rechargeable
- Orgasm Chair: As a beginner, you can use the basic sofa or furniture in your home for your adventure. However, for the pros in the game, an orgasm chair gives more functions and features for more pleasure and pain delivery. It’s versatile, and some can even pass for a sofa. One of my favorite orgasm chairs is the Liberator Obeir Spanking Chair. It is designed to deliver top-notch foreplay and bold BDSM experiment.
- Spanking cane: It is a thin cane that is quite flexible and gives you that whippy action; it does not necessarily inflict pain. Still, it is made of light material to increase sexual pleasure and establish dominance.
- Ball gag is another tool used for sexual pleasure placed around the neck, and the ball is within the mouth, which prevents your partner from moaning, thereby increasing the pleasure derived from BDSM sex.
SAFETY MEASURES
They say safety first Well, it is not entirely wrong because being safe has kept us all alive one way or the other it is important that we observe some safety rules.
I am not going to bore you, but basically, it is expected that you do this with a trusted partner who is willing to journey this pleasurable path with you and also, it is advised that you avoid making the ropes too tight so as not to inflict bodily injuries and cause harm. It is also important that both partners enjoy every moment together; you should always get to know how your partner feels, especially when tying the ropes. Also, having a scissor or knife could come in handy when the ropes are difficult to untie. Washing and drying the ropes after use are always considered good hygienic practices. For electronically propelled objects like the vibrator, cleaning and keeping them in dry places like your closet are advisable.
CONCLUSION
There is no shame in exploring an entirely new type of sexual activity; it is said that variety is the spice of life, and it doesn’t hurt anyone to live a little. Just ensure to be well informed about the art of BDSM before engaging in it with your partner. There are great books that can be referred to in this regard as the information gotten from movies (porn films) are either false, too aggressive, or just vanilla compared to the actual act itself. BDSM is an art of pleasure and should be taken as such. Both parties must agree on a safe word before they begin, and they must ensure that consent is gotten every step of the way.
This is just the starter pack; you can still do more research and enjoy this fantastic art of sex with your partner.
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